As I walk through life as a single young woman, I see that this path is not for the faint at heart. It is not easy to face the world, so full of dreams and aspirations alone. Various factors play against black women in particular. Although some negative perceptions are self imposed and we also are able to witness the successes of black women, there is a part of society who looks at women of color in a tainted light.


There will always be those who are completely slack regardless of race or gender, but in some cases I can understand why so many of us fall into a destructive lifestyle. The struggles faced as one attempts economic success, and without the support of a spouse can be a tough load to carry. As a result one may loose hope and take matters into their own hands, rushing towards what would have occurred at the appointed time. When you see women tricking and trapping men, they may have entered this phase of relentless pursuit of a mate.

Reacting to the fear of not finding a spouse, some have given up on their dreams while striving for a mate. I have witnessed those who have completely ignored their purpose in life is to chase a man who possessed no concern them. Instead of being pursued, the women have taken on the role of the “knight in shining armor”, the man’s provider. I truly believe that this is not a woman’s place, chasing, trapping, and providing for a man in an attempt to have a “relationship”. Or maybe the woman is actually being chased, but only with the intention of finding a source of income, place to sleep, or should I say someone to sleep with.

Because women were not made to take on the role of a man, I think the side effects can be detrimental to one’s mental and physical health. I see those a little older than myself who have fallen prey to the lifestyle I have just described, and as a result they indulge. Overeating is one way to mask the pain, which we obviously see as an epidemic in the U.S. So not only are some women single and in bad relationships, but we’re overweight and unhealthy. Surprisingly enough, sex and sedatives is also what I’ve heard women jokingly mention on a consistent basis, both of which are TEMPORARY masking agents.

I said all this to say please don’t allow the struggles of life, though they are many, to allow you to loose sight of reaching your destiny. A healthy lifestyle filled with joy, peace, accomplishment, and a happy home are hopes that can become a reality through Christ.