Fear of Flying

Published on Sunday, January 9, 2011 in , , ,

I’ve been going through lots of changes in life and love lately, and what I’ve been learning is that its way easier to just think about all the possibilities than to live them out loud.  What I know in my heart however is that easy isn’t always good, especially in the case of truly living versus just being alive. 

Let’s take relationships for example.  Sometimes we get into relationships with people who we feel were made just for us.  We fall in love and things seem to be going great.  Overtime the relationship starts to take a turn for the worst.  When things finally explode and end we find ourselves heartbroken, and blinded by bitterness.  When this happens we wallow in the fact that we’ve been hurt - which means we begin to build up a wall of protection to surround all those little pieces our hearts have been broken into.

Now in situations like these it often seems like we are hurting because the other person hurt us.  This is only partly true.  What I have found is that we are also hurt because we feel like we have failed.  We feel like we have failed because we tried our hardest to make things work.  We worked long and hard to build our ideal relationship only to see if crumble into little pieces. When we feel like we have failed we tend to trick ourselves into thinking that we will only fail miserably again if we try again. 

This is the worst thing we can do to ourselves, yet we do it all the time and not just when we have failed at relationships.  We do it when we have failed at anything.  We psych ourselves out into thinking that we will continue to fail and sometimes to a point of not trying at all.
Sadly, the fear of failure keeps many of us from truly living life.  We build walls, and even make excuses that we think will protect us from experiencing being hurt and failing again.

When we are open to experiencing failure and even being hurt, then we open ourselves up to experience life and all of the joys that it has to offer.   Failure doesn’t have to be a bad thing.  Failure teaches us lessons and builds character within us, but for some reason we run from it like it’s the plague.  We feel that if we don’t fail then we have succeeded.  

In reality, that couldn’t be further from the truth.  When we build walls to protect ourselves from being hurt from experiencing failure we build a wall between us and life. I have learned that failure is possible and sometimes necessary to get where you really deserve to be in life.  When we embrace this idea then we embrace life - and life in turn embraces us.

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