Love and Relationships: Sentenced to Submission?

Published on Tuesday, January 25, 2011 in , ,

Is cringing at the thought of submission really necessary? And just what is your definition of the word submit? That last question brought me straight to dictionary.com for a proper answer, and here’s what I found.

–verb (used without object)
5. to yield oneself to the power or authority of another: to submit to a conqueror.
6. to allow oneself to be subjected to some kind of treatment:to submit to chemotherapy.
7. to defer to another's judgment, opinion, decision, etc.: I submit to your superior

I have a few friends that could NEVER imagine themselves submitting to a man and handing over “the authority” to him, but is that what the point of submission really is? Some say they wouldn’t mind submitting to their HUSBAND, but not to their boyfriends. I kinda understand that logic, but then again I don’t. Wouldn’t your last boyfriend become your husband so when exactly do the dynamics of your relationship magically change?

I can only offer my opinion on the matter so here goes:
At first I used to think that submitting to a man went a little something like this:

“Jump, dear!”

“How high should I go? Will a foot and a half be sufficient?” I answer batting my eyes so eager to please and carry out his order.

As over-the-top as that may seem, this was the first image that came to mind. I mean, really, who does that crap nowadays anyway? Independence is in! One ladies’ anthem after another has more than assured us that we can have it all, do it all, and get it all by ourselves. 

As I get older (and perhaps start to mellow out), my perspective is changing bit by bit. The only person I would ever submit to would be my husband. At the risk of sounding like I stepped out of the 1920s, I admit that I wouldn't mind if he had the final “say so” and acted like the “head of the household,” and this is why:

As a husband, he would be committed to me and respect my opinions and always be aware of my needs. Since marriage is a partnership, we would've already discussed any issue that came up and compromised ahead of time. Therefore, his “say-so” would be a representation of US—not some harsh, off-the-wall order he came up with on his own—so I would be willing to stand behind him.

I don’t see it as just a “womanly role” or “duty,” either. I don’t think it’s about being one-sided. Men can submit to us and our needs, too. It’s a sign of strength to put someone else’s needs before your own, and I believe that both men and women should submit. I think it keeps both people from trying to dominate the relationship.

I’m still wondering though:
How do you view submission? Is it more like a prison sentence or a sign of true commitment? Ladies, would you ever submit to a man, and fellas, would you even want your significant other to do this? More importantly, would you do the same for her?

Hmmm...can't wait to hear your thoughts!

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1 Response to Love and Relationships: Sentenced to Submission?

February 1, 2011 at 9:21 PM

I view submission as a necessary evil. It's only "evil" because my idea of submission has been similar to yours and the thought of letting someone else call the shots it outrageous. It's outrageous because I AM a control freak. I AM type A. I AM opinionated and I have a strong personality. The idea of doing what someone says other than my boss?? Pllffft! Yeah. Right.

Again, like it was written, I think I'm mellowing with age or maturing...something. My view of submission has somewhat changed. If I have a guy in my life who truly respects my mind and my ablility to make decisions, more than likely my two cents will count toward the whole dollar of the decision to be made. (If that made sense.)