Love and Relationships: Hitchhiking for Love

Published on Wednesday, May 18, 2011 in , ,

You usually never know when love is going to find you...when you will meet prince charming and ride off into the sunset of love, but I can bet you’ve dreamed about it often since you were a little girl.  In fact every girl I’ve known has either fantasized about getting married or about falling in love.  Actually, girls (and I've been guilty of this as well) tend to fantasize about getting married or falling in love with just about every guy that they date.  Call it hoping, wishful thinking or whatever you may, but in my opinion sometimes we set ourselves up by focusing so much on the future that we miss the signs of the present.  You know, those flashing lights surrounding ***ALL SIGNS POINT TO NO*** We want so bad for this next guy who seems to be going in the same direction of love as us to be the one.  You would think we were hitchhiking for love holding up our thumbs with a sign that says GOING MY WAY?  

Perhaps the craziest part about this is guys usually never even get to the point of seeing a 1 month anniversary with a girl they are just dating in their minds.  This is because they are usually not thinking past today.  I've even talked to some guys who say that when they found the one they knew almost immediately, but prior to that they had never even really envisioned themselves with any other girl in that way.  To me this says that girls, we are putting ourselves through a lot of heartache and for no reason at all.  We fantasize so much about the future that we don't even notice that the guy we are fantasizing about may not be able to see us in his life in the next few hours never mind the rest of his life.

We sometimes go as far as calling ourselves "taking charge."  I've heard some girls say "oh he just doesn't know that we're going to be together forever yet, but he will" O_o They figure that if the guy won't chase them, then they will chase him.  Being the old fashioned girl that I am, I find this a bit odd.  I feel like a guy should pursue the girl.  Apparently some of our tweeps agree, because just yesterday I read this tweet from @bereolaesque that read, "LADIES' TIP: Even the sperm chases the egg ... good luck chasing a man."  Now if that doesn't lay it out for any woman, then I don't know what else to say.  Love has definitely turned into a hitchhiking game for many ladies, and I am just here to say...ladies let's stop wasting our time.  Let's take off our “Back to the Future” goggles and start using our magnifying glasses to inspect the present.

Many guys don't waste their time with girls, because they know from the beginning they are not going to spend the rest of their lives with them.  They do not, however, give up passing the time with a girl until their future wife comes along.  Don't be a placeholder.  Realize that if you're the one he will make it known.  Until then, don't hold your breathe and keep your options open.  Here are some ways to avoid hitchhiking for love:

1.    Get to know what love is (give love, become love, get love)
-       If you don’t know what love is then take some time to get to know what it is.  Develop your own truths about it and wait for it to come to you.  If you have to go search for it, then chances are it isn’t love.
2.    Practice living in the now (notice what is happening so that you can appreciate it)
-       If you are so focused on getting into a relationship, getting married,etc, then chances are you are not focused on the here and now.  When you focus on the moment, you are able to really get to know someone and figure out if that person is who you really want to be with.  If you are constantly dreaming of a future with them, you may be missing out on why a future with this person is virtually impossible.
3.     Practice patience and faith
-       Know that when the time is right, love will come into your life…no ifs, ands, or buts.  Don’t push love away but thinking that you will never experience it or that you’re not good enough to be in love.  Have faith in love and practice patience because it will come.
4.     Always Remember Your Worth
- When you know your worth, you don’t settle for anything but the best!  It’s really as simple as thatJ

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1 Response to Love and Relationships: Hitchhiking for Love

May 21, 2011 at 5:50 PM

Thumbs up! I like the sperm chasing the egg quote! It doesn't get any plainer than that! :) I, too, am a firm believer that a man will make it obvious that he is interested in a lady. If you can't tell, keep it moving. His intentions, whatever they may be, are not in your favor.