Double or Nothing: One standard we SHOULD miss out on!

Published on Friday, June 17, 2011 in , ,

First let me say that I’m all for women empowerment and settling the score between women and men, and I am dead set against any type of double standard being imposed on us by our male counterparts. I’m also very proud to say that for the most part, we are standing up for our rights in almost every area of our lives with much success, and I credit that feat to our fearless ability to defeat double standards that arise in the workplace.  Having said this, though, I feel like we have to choose the right “standards” to level the playing field with so to speak.

When it all boils down to it, double standards are all about respect. By facing them head on, we either end up with double respect or nothing at all. Why then do we continue to lose at the one quirky standard related to relationships and love? We’ve all heard it before. A man’s a player if he’s had a whole chain gang of girls cuffed to his past, but a woman—if she’s had enough partners to round out a spade’s game,  then she’s a ….please choose your derogatory name and insert it here à _______!

Quite frankly, that standard could’ve been settled a long time ago, but for some reason, we chose the long drawn out approach. Strangely enough, showing men that we, too, can handle “No-Strings Attached” nightly arrangements was not the best strategy to take. We can’t. We’re not emotionally wired that way, and besides, bouncing from boy to boy won’t even begin to change their perceptions of us, anyway. At that point, we’re the equivalent of damaged goods to them, and who would want that at the end of the day?

So, if we can’t change their perception of us, why don’t we just change our perception of them? Look at what their behavior suggests about their character. Yes, it may take charisma and a bit of charm to get all those notches under their belts (or maybe not, because truthfully some of us make it all too easy), but that “player” behavior shows you that he lacks commitment, is not interested in a serious relationship, and he might have trouble being faithful. Is that what you want? And most importantly, realize that if you do exactly what he’s doing, then those same characteristics apply to you. Is that what you want people to think about you?

I’ve never met a girl who just up and decided that she wanted to be promiscuous. Often times, it took one twisted love affair to get her to that stage in her life. That one guy may not have respected your heart or treated you right, but it’s merely a lesson to be learned not an excuse to “act like a man.” Who says their way is right?

We should only go after the double standards that will reflect favorably on our character, and frankly bed hopping ain’t one of them. The first female President—that’s one to go after, but something as trivial and meaningless as midnight romps with random beaus should be far from our minds. It just doesn’t scream EQUALITY to me. What do you think?

At the end of the day, does the promiscuous girl always end up holding the Full House or is she foolishly raising the stakes in her love life? Do you think anyone she’s dealt with wants her for a housewife…ahem (you know the saying so don’t act brand new)!

Sidenote: I get it. Some women don’t want the picket fence, the kids, and the husband, but how liberating is it to go through life and not be able to forge an emotional, romantic bond with not even one person. Simply put: I don’t know one woman who’s built like that. Do you?

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