Think About it Thursday: Can You Change Someone into the Person You Want to Date?

Published on Thursday, June 23, 2011 in , ,

I once heard a young man scream, "YOU CAN'T CHANGE ME!" with fervent conviction a few months ago, and although his proclamation was a response to something totally different (and had absolutely nothing to do with love and relationships), I believe there is a lot of truth to his statement. Think about it: Do you really know many people who are actually willing to change for love? I don't.

Despite the fact that most people are resistant to change and some downright fear it, we believe that love can bring anyone around to the bright side and make our "boo thangs" malleable putty in our hands.

There's definitely two sides to this coin, and it all comes down to manipulation. Women and men are masters at it in their own rite. We choose to manipulate with unspoken rules and reduce human emotion and personality into something that can be predicted and controlled by a page in a book or a set of tips passed down from someone famous. There's all kinds of fictitious movies based on how we UNSUCCESSFULLY mold our men. Two can play that game ring a bell, anyone? Or perhaps, Hitch for the fellas who want to level the playing field so they have a chance?

I've never seen a man make a drastic, PERMANENT change to be with any woman--even if she was confidently armed with Steve Harvey's latest musings. He may change a little until he gets what he wants only to dip out in the end, but honestly, if he has to change that much, no amount of man-molding can make him into someone you want to be with. He's just not the one. And who wants to fall for a "fixer-upper" anyway?

I have, however, seen women be more open to change, though. I mean, for SOME women, if you even so much as dangle the idea of a long lasting, potentially aisle-walking relationship in front of her, she's going to take the bait and do whatever it takes to keep the love alive whether its by co-signing a car, lending a few extra dollars, or leaving behind her trusted friends. I don't know why that is. Maybe I'm the only one that notices that trend, but either way, that's another post for another day.

So for now, I'll stick with my original question: Do you think its possible to change a person into the type of person you want to date or pursue a long-term relationship with? Whether you want them to upgrade their materialistic image or personality-wise, do you think their change will be successful and help the relationship last? And are women more likely than men to change themselves or their USUAL BEHAVIOR for love?

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