Dear 3D: The Road Less Traveled

Published on Monday, December 12, 2011 in ,

Dear 3D,

A cousin of mine who is very close to me is having a baby.  I'm really excited for her, just because I believe that life is beautiful and to bring a life into this world is such an amazing gift.  My cousin has a decent job, reliable transportation, and an incredible support system of family and friends.  However, her and the baby's father are not in a committed relationship, and they have been "close friends" for almost 3 years now. He is ambitious, but does not have a lot going for him  at the moment.  One day we were talking and she asked me not to move from Atlanta because she wants me to get a place with her. Initially, I planned to move to California next year, because I love it there and it is my dream location, but now I would feel almost guilty if I'm not physically there for her at a time where she may need me the most. My question is: do I stay here and put my dreams on hold or chase them?

Dear Dream Chaser, 

We say chase your dreams.  We realize you love your cousin, but she does have a support system.  She will not be alone if you decide to leave and go to California.  You love her and we know you want to help and one way to do that is by helping her to find a safe place of her own.  You two should make the most of the time you do have together. Hang out, have movie nights, and like we said look for a great place for her and baby.  It is important however, that you realize you two are now at two different points in your lives.  You are about to travel down two completely different roads and that is okay.

Realize that you both have your own responsibilities that are results of decision that you have made.  You can not be held accountable for her responsibilities and yours.  If the major issue for your cousin is finding a roommate than maybe you can help her to find someone who would be the perfect roommate for her and her new edition.  What we do know is that if you don’t follow your dreams, and even if you put them on hold, you will have an internal “what if,” living inside of you.  Make sure that you follow your HEART and your INTUITION.  Teach yourself not to be a people pleaser.  The best way to help someone is to show them that you trust them enough to grow into the greatness that they are without having to always depend on someone else.

If you have any advice for this dream chaser leave a comment below and tell a friend to leave one too!  



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2 Response to Dear 3D: The Road Less Traveled

December 12, 2011 at 9:24 PM

Dear Dream Chaser,

I second D.O.L.L.S. response. Your cousin is more than capable of handling her responsibilities. If you stay and become her roommate, she learns to be self-reliant instead of self-sufficient. Pursuing your dreams is the best gift you can give her. You become a living example and inspiration to her of the possibilities that exist and what she can achieve.

All the best.

December 28, 2011 at 1:56 AM

whispers: Thank you. Thank you both.